My name is Alison and I am a bottle feeding Mum. My nursing tops are hanging redundant in my wardrobe, the lanolin cream is relegated to the back of my cosmetics shelf and the nipple caps are languishing in the bottom of my pregnancy clothes bag.
It is six weeks since I stopped breast feeding and it’s taken me this long to write about it. Why? The medical profession in the UK are zealous in their attitude to breast feeding, so much so, that I felt I was giving my baby crack cocaine whenever I used a bottle. I remember attending a drop-in breast feeding clinic and wincing in apology as I took out a bottle in front of the other Mums. The bottle was full of breast pumped milk but I felt like a fraud.
Ironically, the pressure to breast feed resulted in me giving up breastfeeding at six weeks. I was too embarrassed to ask for help earlier – when it would have made a difference. I still feel mortified at my melt down at the drop-in clinic when I cried for two hours solid. The other Mums had problems with colic – not one of them seemed to be going through the same excruciating pain. It made me feel even more alone. I gave birth to JP without any pain relief, not even a paracetamol. Breastfeeding, for me, was so much more difficult than child birth!
When the mid wives saw me they looked away quickly, then told me to use the bottle. My nipples needed time to heal. It took two weeks for them to heal and by that time there was no way JP wanted to go back to the breast.
Growing up on a farm, bottle feeding the calves and lambs was always a last resort. How come, I (country girl with a mother who breast fed all six children) couldn’t get to grips with something so natural. During my pregnancy I was so confident, it never crossed my mind to get a box of formula or even just one bottle in case things didn’t work out.
Now, I am using glass (BPA free) bottles and giving JP organic formula milk now. I do get breast feeding envy, as I seem to be surrounded by Mums who are fully competent at breast feeding; however, I have resigned myself to bottle feeding. I can happily report that both baby and Mum are doing well. If I have another child I will breast feed again as I do believe there are tremendous health benefits, however, I will not beat myself up if it doesn’t work.
Anyone else have problems with breast feeding?
I am really sorry this happened to you.Breastfeeding groups are supposed to make new mums feel at ease and resolve any problems or answer any questions.Breastfeeding isn’t easy, I had real trouble with number 3 and even though I’m a breastfeeding peer supporter I still had to seek help and yes I felt a bit silly about it.It’s meant to be natural and can be, if you get the right support and information.I do recommend visiting your local group whilst you’re pregnant so you can see other women breastfeed and ask questions before you have the baby.I had numerous problems with my other two as well, but I did eventually ask for help which I got in abundance.Saying that it’s good to see you are using greener and healthier formula and bottle options.Don’t feel you failed, the group failed you for not supporting you.Take care.
Hi Aly, Thank you for your lovely comment on my breast feeding experience. I was nervous about any potential reaction to this post so to get your comment was very reassuring. I am disappointed with my self for not sticking in there, but do feel positive that I managed to breast feed for 4 weeks and pump breast milk for weeks 5 and 6. Ali